Posts
When You Get Worn Out
People get worn out. Stress does it. Overwork does it. Worry does it. Getting sick does it. It just happens. The key, though, is to figure out that you are worn out and then, if you can, do something about it.
If the course of your life is constantly and consistently an
upward trajectory, then natural law says what goes up must come down.
All it took was an apple falling on his head, and Newton figured that
out. Or so the stories go.
Whether it is stress, overwork, or worry, they all can be
evident in the upward trajectory of someone’s life. Many people combat
these stress-filled moments by trying to balance the scales quickly by
doing something that might give them a momentary kick in the pants. Like
having a cigarette, having a drink, or eating something full of
calories. Chocolate comes to mind. Or there are drugs, but I’m not going
to mention those because I feel my audience doesn’t do those things. Am
I right?
Nature has a handy dandy solution to anything that stresses
you out. You will get sick. Or you will have a breakdown. Or you will
become the crankiest person in sight. Or, God forbid, you will have an
accident. That’s just the way nature takes care of it.
It sounds like having a couple of long-term stress relievers
up your sleeve might be a good thing. The best thing, in my opinion, is
to do some introspective work on yourself and try to get an answer to
why you are allowing yourself to be driven towards an untenable
precipice. This would be your journal. For Your Eyes Only. You don’t
have to have a lock and key for it. It’s just yours, and it is private.
Hide it under the mattress if you want to. Or open up a blank word
document and have at it. You don’t even have to save it. Just delete the
whole page when you are done. It is important to ask yourself hard
questions and allow yourself to answer them honestly. In my own
experience, one question ravels off in many directions. You may not ever
think you are getting close to the answer, but you will relieve the
pressure on this nasty boil in your life.
I am not buying the idea that saying, “That’s just the way it
is.” Or “That’s life. Times are tough.” Times will always be tough, and
if that’s the way it is, maybe that’s your view of the universe, but
other people can see the glass half full rather than half empty.
So, here is an example for you. The question is, “Why do I feel so bad?” Here is a possible answer, “I don’t know.”
This is progress. In comes the next question, “Why do you think you feel so bad?” And a possible answer is, “I don’t know.”
Fine. This might not look like progress, but bear with me on
this. There is an answer. “There must be a reason. Why don’t you just
make something up?” An answer, “Okay, my boss is horrible.”
“Oh, tell me more,” You say, “Everything I do, she says, is
not right. It doesn’t matter what I do. Even the way I am clocking in is
wrong. I feel really bad about this.”
“Is this happening to other people too?” You say, “Yes, it is. None of us know what is going on.”
“Then, something is going on with your boss. She might be
having health issues. She might be under additional stress from her
bosses. Maybe something is going on with her personal life. Maybe, just
maybe, there is something you could do to help her. Rather than acting
like the injured party, why don’t you put on a different hat? A hat that
sees her as a human being who might be having a problem.”
You mull that over some. Now, have a look at these voices in
your head; the ones that pose all these questions. That was you. That
voice was your voice. Sometimes people call it your inner voice. This
part of you does know all the answers. It might not tell you the direct
answer to something, but it will do a good job of leading you away from
the brick wall you’ve been staring at and suggesting alternate ways of
thinking about something.
Sometimes I just don’t want to do the introspective work that
will ease my stress. That is when I have backup plans I can turn to.
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of writing on several fronts. I am trying
to finish a book for young people looking for work. This is the third
book in a series. So, I’m trying to finish the third book, pop another
17,000 words into the second book, and polish up the first one. All
three books need attention and need to be finished. I need to find
snappy titles for them, nice covers for them, and get them on the
market.
This is proving stressful for me. The idea occurred to me
yesterday as winter sets in my husband could use a pair of fingerless
gloves. I began these gloves for him last winter, and they should be
finished so he can use them this season. I love to crochet. This will be
a fun thing for me to do. It is not going to answer the question of why
I feel so pressured right now but will go a long way toward alleviating
the stress.
I know I will finish these books. It is just going to take some time. Wish me luck.
So, consider asking yourself whatever questions are
appropriate for you. Consider going into therapy for a little while.
Sometimes people who are not so close to your life can draw you out and
help to alleviate whatever it is that might be bothering you.
See, the thing is, we are never done growing emotionally. A
therapist will be able to accompany you for a little way on this
journey. What a therapist does is give you some tools, like journaling
or crochet, or even a walk in your neighborhood that will help you cope
with stress. You are strong enough to conquer your stress and make a
good life for yourself. But, like Newton’s apple, this will all move in
the opposite direction someday again. That’s when you go back to your
tried and tested tools, or you make another appointment with your
therapist.
So, it’s not a hopeless tangle of searching for answers, it
is just another step in the right direction. Celebrate moments of life
in your life, even if they are small ones. Doing that will help you to
get up off of the couch and get moving again.
No comments:
Post a Comment