By
Thomas F. O'Neill
An Abundance In Life
There was a time when Robert Forner had it all, a good paying Job, a
nice home, and a reliable car. But the news of the outsourcing of the
industrial plant where he worked hit him hard. The company moved its
plant to Ecuador for a higher profit margin and Robert found himself
without a job. The unemployment checks barely kept him above water and
it didn’t take long for all his savings to dry up.
In order to get by he cut corners, he let his homeowner
insurance, and his auto insurance lapse. He found himself without
health insurance and he felt as if he was on a downward spiral to a
place called ‘rock bottom.’
He only had one more biweekly check from his unemployment
compensation which added up to six hundred and twenty-three dollars. The
night before the money was to be directly deposited into his bank
account. He watched his entire world go up in flames. The firefighters
were unable to save his home or his car which was parked in his garage.
The photographs of the life he once lived were consumed in the flames as
well.
Now he was homeless.
He answered the fire marshal's questions the next day but the
cause of the fire was not yet known. It was learned in a matter of time
though that it was caused by a faulty circuit breaker that Robert
installed a month earlier. With no insurance to fall back on he found
himself in dire straights. The road ahead of him looked bleak and he was
constantly thinking about his uncertain future.
Embarrassed for being in the situation he found himself in, he
also did not want to burden others with his misfortune. He did not turn
to others in his community for help. He put the entire matter on his own
shoulders. He also considered the fact that he was never married and
did not have a family to support. But at the same time, he felt very
much alone with nothing more than the clothes on his back.
There was nothing holding him to his hometown because everything
he ever owned, all his material possessions, were now gone. With the
little money, he had left he boarded a Greyhound bus. He was now hitting
the road. He had no particular destination in mind. His money
unfortunately did not last long.
He tried finding employment with temporary agencies but not
having a phone or a permanent address. He did not have much luck
securing a job, a job he desperately needed to survive.
Eventually Robert found himself living with society’s unseen, the
so-called downtrodden people, who live, day to day, on the street. He
went from shelter to shelter and at times he waited in the back of
restaurants in order to root through their garbage for scraps of food.
The clothes on his back became worn and dirty. The hair on his head and
face became knotted up from being unkempt. He took on the appearance of
the shadow people, the street people, the so-called bums. He was no
longer recognizable from the man he once was.
He began to view his situation as some sort of punishment but in a
way, he was simply punishing himself. He at times went to various
churches for help but they all seemed to have the same rhetoric. He
continuously heard the same words, “we do not have the resources or the
funding to assist you at this time.” In a way, he felt he was being
served right though for foolishly losing everything he once owned.
As his days on the street moved into weeks and months, he found
himself more and more being part of society’s forgotten souls. He spent
many nights under an overpass with others who were down and out. They
used a large medal drum as a makeshift stove. They washed their clothes
in a river which was also their toilet. Robert hung out with these
colorful characters that were fending for themselves. He tried to pass
some of his time away by keeping a daily journal of his day-to-day
activities.
The police one night came through with flashlights and threatened
to have them locked up for vagrancy. The vagrants moved on and Robert
found himself sleeping alone behind dumpsters.
He was told by other homeless people about the dangers of
sleeping inside the dumpsters. Some of the homeless in the past was
accidentally killed by being crushed to death by sanitation trucks.
Robert on the other hand chose those locations because, in the darkness
of night, no one sees him, or bothers him while he sleeps. One dumpster
in particular that he inhabited was behind a flower shop.
The flower shop is owned by Lillian Snodgrass a divorcee and
mother of a two-and-a-half-year-old girl named Megan. They also love and
care for a six-year-old golden retriever named Lacy.
Lillian’s former husband left her shortly after she became
pregnant with Megan. She is struggling now to make ends meet through her
flower shop. She chose to start the business on her own because it
gives her the freedom to spend her days with her daughter. She also
enjoys making her customers happy and she gets great satisfaction in
knowing that she is working for herself.
Her little daughter Megan is a curious child who loves placing
flowers into the jars and smelling them. She also enjoys the attention
she receives from the various customers. She is her mother’s little
helper and co-owner of their very own flower shop.
Twice a week in the early morning Megan would watch the garbage
truck lift their dumpster in the air and empty the contents into the
back of a sanitation truck. Lacy their golden retriever protects little
Megan by growling and barking at the sanitation workers.
Being two and a half years old it didn’t take Megan long to
figure out how to unleash the screen door behind their flower shop. One
morning Megan and Lacy went out back to the dumpster. Robert was then
awakened by something warm and moist moving across his nose. He soon
realized that it was a golden retriever licking his face as he slept.
He quickly took notice of the toddler looking at him as the
sanitation truck began to back up in order to lift the dumpster. The
golden retriever growled and barked away at the truck. She was simply
protecting her territory and little Megan. Lillian distracted by a
customer was completely unaware that Megan was outside behind the shop.
The sanitation workers continued backing their truck. They were
unaware that little Megan was directly behind them. The sanitation
workers ignored the barking dog so Robert quickly ran over and grabbed
the little girl.
Lillian went out to see what the commotion was all about. She
saw the sanitation truck back up over the homeless man who was cradling
her daughter, Megan, in his arms.
Letting out a gut-wrenching scream as she began pounding on the
sanitation truck, Lillian yelled for the sanitation workers to stop. The
truck slowly moved forward. Lacy also concerned for Megan ran
underneath the truck and began licking the little girl's face.
“Who the hell are you?” Lillian asked Robert looking past his disheveled appearance and bad odor.
“The little girl was about to be pinned between the dumpster and
the truck,” he told Lillian, “and that is why I grabbed her the way I
did.”
She immediately said to him almost without thought, “let me help
you,” the thought of a homeless man saving her daughter was playing on
her mind. Her daughter’s life, after all, was worth more to her than all
her worldly possessions.
“I don’t want to burden you,” he said, “not with my problems.”
The sanitation workers saw nothing more than a bum in Robert.
”Look,” said one of the sanitation workers, “if we see you here again we will call the police.”
As Lillian looked upon Robert’s disheveled appearance. She saw
something, deep within. What she saw was compassion and deep caring
warmth. It was something she hasn’t seen in a person in a very long time
and her heart went out to him, “I can’t bear it,” she said, “seeing you
sleeping on the street.”
She took him in, cut his hair, shaved him, and found some of her
former husband’s clothes for him to wear. They were a few sizes to big
but they were at least clean. She let him shower as she prepared
something for him to eat. As the warm water cleansed Robert’s body, “I
haven’t had a shower in eight months,” he thought to himself, “How could
I ever repay her for her kindness.”
“Wow, what a big difference,” she said as she gazed at the
cleaned-up Robert. “You can sleep on our couch until you get back on
your feet.”
As he ate he told her his life story.
“Couldn’t the churches help you?” she asked him.
“They told me that they didn’t have the resources to help,” he told her.
“What about social services?” she asked.
“Well not being a resident of this county. I was told there is a long waiting list,” he said.
“That’s nuts, so you are then forced to live on the street,” she said, “You have no family or friends that can help you?”
“I don’t want to burden them, just like I don’t want to burden you,” he told her, “not with my issues.”
“Families help one another,” she said, “when my husband left me I
had no choice but to turn to my family, for help, and they helped me.”
“I got myself into this mess,” he said, “It’s not other people’s problem.”
“Well I can’t have you living on the street,” she said, “I wasn’t
raised that way, especially, after you grabbed and pulled my Megan out
of the way of that sanitation truck. If you weren’t there she would have
been crushed to death.”
As she poured her daughter and Robert a glass of Ice tea, “she’s
my entire life,” she said referring to her daughter with deep emotion,
“she’s the reason I get out of bed in the morning. I couldn’t live
without her. I will help you get back on your feet. This is the least I
could do for what you did.”
Little Megan walked over to Robert and worked her way onto his
lap as he drank his Ice tea, “well she doesn’t have a problem with you
here,” Lillian said to Robert.
She was surprised to see her daughter take to Robert so quickly.
Even Lacy who is very protective of them took an instant liking to him.
She was far from being well off with her business. She was struggling to
provide for her daughter and she had very little. She shared everything
through everything she had with Robert.
It didn’t take her long to realize that Robert was truly a good
person. He was bright and a caring person. He was not the bum that he
appeared to be in his past. She was glad that he no longer had to fend
for himself, day to day, on the street. As far as Lillian is concerned
that life is behind him now.
To show his appreciation for her kindness he began to help her
with her flower shop. She also goes out of her way for him. She
purchases the little things that he needs, like razors, and shampoo. She
also buys him clothes but most importantly. Her daughter, Megan, adores
him and he adores both of them in return.
He enjoys taking Megan for walks at a nearby park with lacy. It
was just one of his ways of being there for them, completely there; it
was also a way of returning the kindness.
Lillian’s former husband is always in the back of her mind. As
far as she’s concerned he is truly the bum, not Robert. The former
husband has always been full of himself and he is never there for them.
She felt pretty much abandoned but she and her daughter went on with
their lives.
Robert on the other hand seemed down to earth. It was as if his
experiences on the street humbled him in many ways. He has a much deeper
understanding and a deeper appreciation for what he now has, which is a
much better life.
As Robert was walking through the park with Lillian, Megan, and their golden retriever,
“Weren’t you scared at night living on the street?” Lillian asked him.
“Well it wasn’t so much fear that bothered me,” he said, “it was
the memories of what I once had, my home, my car, the roof over my head.
I was constantly reminded of what I lost. Not having a place of my own
was worse than fear.”
“I can’t imagine having to live like that,” she said, “no one should have to live like that.”
“But through your kindness and through your generous caring soul,” he said, “I have gained much more than what I have lost.”
“You saying that makes me feel as if we are supposed to be
together in some way,” she said, “almost as if I am supposed to help
you.”
“Every human being enters the world like a tourist,” he said,
“with mystical baggage,” he then threw a stick for Lacy to retrieve,
“some simply come into this world with more luggage than others.”
“I never heard it put that way before,” she said laughing.
“In order to truly live,” he said, “we must discard our baggage.”
Lacy quickly ran back with the stick, and as he threw the stick once
again, he said, “the baggage inhibits us from truly finding joy in life.
I am just beginning to understand that now.”
“Do I have a lot of baggage,” she asked him laughing showing off her girlish figure.
“No I think you have it all together,” he said with humor in his voice.
“So what do you mean by baggage?” she asked him.
“We are the sum total of all our experiences,” he said, “I don’t
think we come into this world like a clean slate. I think there is
residue from past lived experiences.”
“Past lived experiences,” she said, “you mean past lives?”
“It’s a possibility that makes sense to me,” he said, “we all
come into the world with issues that must be resolved in order to grow
and move on.”
“That makes sense,” she said, “so do you believe in soul mates,” she asked.
“Soul mates grow from one another,” he said, “and live in each other's hearts.”
“I guess that is a ‘yes’ answer,” she said laughing, “I like how you put things together so that I could even understand.”
She enjoyed their daily walks together and their daily
conversations. He made her think about the things she rarely thought
about. But most importantly they were learning more about each other and
the two life paths that are now merging into one.
He continued his daily journal writing as well of his day-to-day
thoughts. The writing helped him gain a deeper grasp of his lived
experience. As the days progressed he grew closer and closer to his new
family.
The customers have grown to like Robert as well because he goes
out of his way to please them. Lillian began to notice that many of her
customers are going out of their way not just to buy flowers but to talk
to Robert.
One day Lillian saw Robert placing a large picture of a Rose on
one of the walls in the flower shop, with the quote, “Some see the world
as a beautiful Rose, while others focus on its painful thorns.” Robert
experienced many painful thorns in his life but now he is recognizing
the beauty of the rose.
He was truly grateful for the fact that the pain from his past
was healing with time. Through the healing process, he has been given a
much greater appreciation of the beauty that surrounds him.
It was out of compassion that Lillian rescued Robert from his
life on the street. But that compassion soon turned to a deep love for
Robert. He was different from the men in her past. He seemed to go out
of his way to find ways to accentuate all that is positive in their
relationship. But at the same time, he was a human being working on ways
to resolve his issues. Those issues are, “the residue from the past,”
as he referred to put it.
He felt he should be contributing more to his new family life
which was instantly provided to him. His kind gestures were also
continually playing on and resonating with Lillian’s heartstrings.
She was constantly being reminded as she cared for Megan about
how her former husband was driven by ambition and money. Robert on the
other hand was simply enjoying the moments with her and her daughter.
She grew to rely on him and she simply enjoys his company. Those deep
intimate conversations with him lacked in her marriage with her former
husband. She also cherishes Robert’s sensitivity to her needs and his
brightness. He brought out things through their conversations in ways
that she never thought about. He wasn’t just caring, he had a spiritual
side to him. She simply wanted him around because they both drew the
best out of one another.
Robert for the first time in his life is simply enjoying his new
and instant family life. He also finds enjoyment in pleasing the
customers at the flower shop. He enjoys the daily conversations with the
regulars that come there to just talk. The flower shop in a way has
become therapeutic for him. Without realizing he is reaching out to the
customers and in doing so he is accentuating all that is positive within
him. He was no longer, unseen, undetected, a downtrodden homeless
person. On the other hand, he never forgot where he once was, and how
far he has come in life.
“You seem content, Robert,” a young female customer said to him.
“Well,” he said, “I am.”
“Can you purchase it here,” she asked with a smile.
“Well it’s kind of a secret,” he said teasingly.
“I won’t tell a soul,” she said.
“Well,” he said, he then teasingly leaning up close to her from
across the counter. With a soft sincere voice, he said, “in order to
find happiness, joy, and love, in this world. You must bring it to
others. Then and only then will you be truly content.”
“That makes sense,” she said, “so what is the charge,” she said with a smile.
“You already paid me,” he said.
“That was for the flowers,” she said teasingly.
“You paid me with your presence,” he said, “when you enjoy the company of others, others enjoy your company.”
“Well,” she said, “I will stop by again to pick up your pearls of
wisdom,” as she left the flower shop, little Megan worked her way up on
a stool behind the counter.
He was now a surrogate father to Megan and he loved her very
much. But he also began to think more and more about the friends he made
from his life on the streets. He began to go out a few times a week and
visit them in the evenings. Some of them returned to living under the
highway overpass. He would bring Megan along with him and he would sit
and talk with them about the issues of their daily lives.
He grew more and more determined due to his own past experience
of having lived on the street. He wants people to know and understand
that there is a deep segment of society that is being overlooked and
virtually ignored. That segment of society is America’s homeless, a life
that he once shared.
Every evening he copied down passages from his journal. He was
compiling them for a book he began to write. It was those written
accounts of his experiences that motivated him to become an advocate for
the homeless.
It was through the success of his book that drove him even
further. He went out and organized with civic and local church groups to
establish halfway programs. The programs are geared to help individuals
who lost their homes due to lack of employment, to find temporary
shelter, training, and jobs.
That inner drive and determination on his part not only made
those programs a reality but it increased the sales of his book. He and
Lillian continue selling flowers though and they continue sharing their
life’s Journey.
He finally moved off of Lillian’s couch so that they could
continue to share their lives together. With his now-adopted daughter,
Megan, and newborn baby girl. They are happily married. He may have lost
everything he once owned in his previous life. But he now feels he
gained the world in the process.
As Robert was signing his books
in a bookstore, Lillian was sitting next to him, “You certainly have
come a long way Mr. Forner,” a man said waiting for Robert to sign his
book.
“I never would have come this far if it wasn’t for the kindness and generosity of this woman,” Robert said referring to Lillian.
“That kindness was returned in greater fold,” Lillian said,
“besides if he wasn’t a good person I would have thrown him out long
ago. But we decided to keep him,” she said with humor in her voice.
His published account of where he was in life is important to the
readers. But where he is now and what he gained within is far more
important to him. He may have lost everything he once owned. But through
that experience, he has come to a greater understanding that his
present moment with those he loves is all he truly needs.
Robert has put his past behind him by embracing the here and now
with all the important people in his life. For Robert losing all his
material possessions, everything he ever owned gave him a much greater
appreciation of the important and significant matters of life. Because
what he possesses within and what he gives to others can never be lost.
But most importantly what he possesses within is far more precious than
the fleeting images of his past.
Robert and Lillian are continuously learning from their shared
lives. When you give of yourself abundantly you gain an abundance in
life, which can never be lost. Because soul mates grow from one another
and live in each other's hearts.
Always with love from Suzhou, China
Thomas F O’Neill
Email: introspective7@hotmail.com
WeChat: Thomas_F_ONeill
U.S. Voice mail: (410) 925-9334
China Mobile 011 (86) 13405757231
Skype: thomas_f_oneill
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Thomas_F_ONeill
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomas-f-o-neill-6226b018/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thomas_f_oneill/
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Click on author's byline for bio and list of other works published by Pencil Stubs Online.
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