Irish Eyes

By Mattie Lennon

Only Slaggin’

"   A sense of humour keen enough to show a man his own absurdities, as well as those of other people, will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."    -Samual Lover.
I’m getting a bit of a slagging lately (I won’t go into details) and it’s great fun. I’m not talking about offensive remarks or insults. I’m referring to good substantial, wholesome, slagging.

SLAGGING : The delicate art of teasing someone in such a fashion that they look forward to it.

It is practiced widely throughout Ireland by all manner of people. Well not all manner; there are those, a small minority, who, through low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy or some form of psychological abnormality cannot take a slagging. And they have a right to live too despite the fact that they could truthfully echo the words of the character in God of Carnage who said “I don’t have a sense of humour and I have no intention of acquiring one.” Will the humourless, however, admit to their condition? Almost eighty years ago Frank Moore Colby asked, “Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humour.”?

In the words of Erin Mack, “Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.”

Why can some people not take a slagging? Freud in Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious points out that when we were children we had no need for jokes because all our fantasies were so immediate. “ . . . when we were ignorant of the comic, when we were incapable of jokes and when we had no need of humour to make us feel happy in our life.”

Is the anti-slagging brigade made up of those who haven’t left their childhood? Who have not grown up and who, subconsciously or otherwise are without the need for a bit of craic? Or are they victims of their upbringing or education? One writer, with reference to French finishing schools says, “In a world where structure, order and logic are the master nouns, the room for nonsense and absurdity is limited.”
Or, as one journalist put it, “In Ireland, we've always tended to gift-wrap our positives somewhat differently. We do it by insult. The closeness of Irish friendships -- particularly Irish male friendships -- can often be measured by how egregiously the friends insult each other. Incompetence, ineptitude with the opposite sex, shortness, tallness, fatness, skinniness, hairiness and baldness are all highlighted to tighten the bonds of mutual affection. “

Of course it has been suggested that all Irish people can take a joke, based on the fact that we voted in the government that we have.  So, we have our own way of dispensing what Americans call “positive reinforcement.”

There are people in these islands who have convinced juries that a graceful taunt was an insult. And they are living comfortably on the proceeds.

Should we change a culture to appease a small minority who are allergic to life? Should we say, as the American Fighter-pilot is reputed to have replied when told that he had erroneously bombed his own soldiers,”F***K them if they can’t take a joke”? How do we deal with people who can’t distinguish between affection and rejection? I don’t know. How about a compromise? What if those who suffer from self-victimisation or hypersensitivity were obliged to wear some form of badge proclaiming, “I can’t take a slagging.”

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Doneraile Literary & Arts Festival 2011

Canon Sheehan Short Story Competition
Prize €1000
Conditions of Entry

• The competition is open to people aged 18 or over
• Stories must not be more than 2000 words. The stories may be on any subject
• The story must be fictional
• Entries to be submitted with a fee of 10 Euros. Please do not send cash. Cheques/postal orders to be made out to Doneraile Literary & Arts Festival
• Stories must be typed on A4 paper. No handwritten entries will be accepted
• Entrants may submit only one short story for the competition. Stories must be the original work of the author. Stories must not have been previously published or accepted for future publication elsewhere.
• Copyright of each story will remain with the author but Doneraile Literary & Arts Festival Committee reserve the right to publish the story on their website to highlight the authors work
• All entries must be accompanied by an entry form. The name of the entrant must not appear on the story itself.
• The Judges decision is final.
• Closing date for receipt of applications is June 1st 2011
• The winning prize will be 1000 Euro and presentation by one of our guests of the Canon Sheehan Perpetual Literary Award to be held by the winner for a period of one year. A smaller award will be presented on a permanent basis. The winning story will be read by one of our esteemed guests on the first night of the festival in a ceremony to take place in Doneraile Court.

Edmund Spenser Poetry Competition
Conditions of Entry

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• The competition is open to people aged 18 or over
• Poems must not be more than 30 lines. The poems may be on any subject
• Entries to be submitted with a fee of 5 Euros. Please do not send cash. Cheques/postal orders to be made out to Doneraile Literary & Arts Festival
• Poems must be typed on A4 paper. No handwritten entries will be accepted
• Entrants may submit only one poem for the competition. Poems must be the original work of the author. Poems must not have been previously published or accepted for future publication elsewhere.
• Copyright of each poem will remain with the author but Doneraile Literary & Arts Festival Committee reserve the right to publish the poem on their website to highlight the poets work
• All entries must be accompanied by an entry form. The name of the entrant must not appear on the poem itself.
• The Judges decision is final.
• Closing date for receipt of applications is June 1st 2011
• The winning prize will be 500 Euro and presentation by one of our guests of the Edward Spencer Perpetual Poetry Award for a period of one year. A smaller award will be presented on a permanent basis. The winning poem will be read by one of our esteemed guests on the first night of the festival in a ceremony to take place in Doneraile Court.
• Submission of a poem automatically deems acceptance of each of the above conditions
• Doneraile Court.

Please forward your entries FAO Diarmuid Hudner, Doneraile Literary & Arts Festival, Canon Sheehan Short Story Competition, Castlesaffron Lodge, Creagh Castle, Doneraile Co. Cork. For further information please contact Diarmuid Hudner, Festival Committee Chairman on 087 – 167 -5809 or email hudnerdiarmuid@gmail.com

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Short Story/Poem Application Form
Name of Entrant: ______________________________________________________
Date of Birth: _________________________________________________________
Address:______________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Telephone:______________________________________________ Mobile:_________________________________________________
Email Address:_________________________________________________________
Title of Short Story:_____________________________________________________ Signature: _____________________________________________________________
Date; Story/Poem Entry:______________________________________________________

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Click on Mattie Lennon for bio and list of other works published by Pencil Stubs Online.