Fear

Over the years I’ve gotten bold enough
To meet each day with modest confidence
Not much will hit I haven’t seen before;
I act tough and believe it.

But some things can crack this shell
And they attack from inside out
Where I cannot see them coming.

Like, hearing a strange ping
Under my car’s hood
Gives me a fright.

Hearing the night wind whine
In the trees outside my house
Can chill my spine.
And last Sunday morning,
Sitting in my place at church,
Ready, prepared and primed
To stand and sing a solo,
I felt faint, then flushed,
Then sweat slid down my face;
And when I stood, my knees quaked so
I thought I might fall down.

Whatever my calm self may think,
My body still has doubts, and lets me know
My conscious mind is not the only show in town.

©2003 John I. Blair